Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
