also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
