you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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