I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
