Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
