He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
