There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just gift wrapped bread.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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