Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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