so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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