ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
