Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
