I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
