just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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