ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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