Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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