We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize