You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize