im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Its about making memories worth repressing
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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