you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
