Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize