so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
