so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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