thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
