is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
