I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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