his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
