in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
