Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
