Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize