Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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