We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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