like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
