I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
