hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
