We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The air taste purple.
Randomize
