Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
