i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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