Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
