i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This is my gift to your gina
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize