He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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