We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
As shirtless as possible
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
