They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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