Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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