I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
