I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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