He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
