Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
