And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
