Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
as a side note pls kill me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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