Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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