you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
