Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
