I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
