would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize