hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
