her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
