so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So I just went to clothing optional bar
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
