Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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