Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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