This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
