pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
