Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
