Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
