The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
