I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
