There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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