Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
