I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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