i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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